It has come to my attention that it’s been a literal “forever” since I wrote a blog post. Before you jump down my throat, I have prepared the following list of excuses:
- I was moving into a new apartment with my new wife.
- Work has been pretty hectic lately.
- BioShock: Infinite came out.
- My NCAA bracket took a nose dive, as did my confidence.
- Soda pop is a hell of a drug.
- My dogs have needed extra cuddling time.
Hopefully you see where I’m coming from. In any event, I am here now, and ready to smash out some words for your eye orbs to take into them like sweet, sweet loving. Since some time has passed since my last post, I’ll make this one a catch up entry. Put on your goggles, cause here comes the thunder.
Money shot…get it?
One of the fantastic people I follow on Twitter is named Warpforged Miniatures (@warpforgedminiatures). Regularly I’d call him a peep, but I was recently informed by my six-year-old niece that that word is no longer “with it”, so I’m in search of a new term for friend. Please submit your ideas in the comment box below. Warpforged Miniatures is a painting collective that does some pretty tasty work, and recently, they put out a tweet asking people if they wanted a free paint commission; all one had to do was supply the model. Always eager to see the work of others (and find new things to write about, as most of my ideas are just a string of swear words and doodles of dragons), I jumped at the chance. After a couple of weeks of waiting, which felt like an eternity, because patience is for physicists and those who love watching water boil, it finally arrived at my place of living.
As you can see, the model is tres fancy. My upcoming ally force is going to be the Disciples of Caliban. You see, my Black Templars are on a crusade to slay a traitorous Sword Brethren who has become a member of an Alpha Legion band. As it turns out, the Alpha Legion have more intel than Harriet the Spy, which includes the location of Cypher. As such, the Disciples have partnered with my crusade to apprehend both chaps. Ah, it feels good to stroke one’s geek.
So Warpforged did a great job capturing the look of the chapter. The mind-blowing thing is it took them only 45 minutes to complete this bad boy. I can’t seem to get a single model done in under 1.5 hours, so I’m beyond impressed with this. Kudos to Warpforged Miniatures on a fantastic mini! And congrats to me on being the owner of said mans. Click here to browse their website.
Recent 40K Battle
Last weekend, I had the opportunity to go visit my friends at the Games Workshop in Oak Park, and break out my evil guys for a mega battle game. Typically with these games, there’s a main objective everyone is trying to take over (In previous games, I have taken the objective 3/4 times, and held it twice). Well, I figured, “You know, I may not be here next weekend, and it’d be downright shameful for me to take it and deny some poor whippersnapper the chance to enjoy its effects the next game,” so instead of trying to win, I just set out to murder everyone around me. I took a Chaos Lord with 10 marines, 3 obliterators, and 1 heldrake. Throughout the game, I achieved the following:
Victims – 9 daemonettes, 3 Ravenwing bikers, 13 guardsmen, 5 lootas, 5 slugga boyz, and glanced a landspeeder.
Casualties – 2 obliterators, 1 marine, and the heldrake, the first time he’s ever been slain…
The best part was the last turn, which looked a little something like this
That is a freaking crap ton of flyers. This, my friends, is why I can’t wait to get some Tau allies under my command. Too many birds in the air, and far too many singing on my shoulder. I prefer no more than one of each, and both better be chirping “Spoonful of Sugar” into my ear.
Disciples of Caliban
I started getting this force under way, but you’ll have to wait a few days for me to get some pictures done up. I’m finicky.
Why does 2K Games continue to rock my world and steal my free time like a heartless wench? There’s no scale which one can gauge how good this game is. Except for a number system between 1 and 10, which puts B:I at a dad gum 15. I’m not a huge fan of FPS games, at least modern ones, where goobers run around screaming into their headsets mocking others while slinging racial and homophobic slurs like candy at a parade. But FPS games like these are just unstoppable. Great graphics, one of the best stories I’ve played through in forever, and action that just doesn’t quit. If orgasms could happen through playing games, I’d spend my down time smoking cigarettes.
So here we come to the end of our time together, and I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for the delayed post. No, no, I’m serious. I shouldn’t leave you alone like that. I didn’t even put down a bowl of water. From here on out, if I’m going to have more than a week between posts, I’ll put up some random hilarity to pacify your need for laughs. So friends, get busy living, or get busy dying.
To Do: Talk About Warpforged Miniatures (and Apologize for Not Writing Lately and Other Stuff)