To Do: Shake Off the Cobwebs

I think it’s time I gave my poor supporting writers a break.


So wow. Much time. Very much busy. Wow. But seriously, I apologize I haven’t personally written a post in quite a long time. Ok, fur effing evah. I recently took on a new job as a marketing director for one of Chicago’s staple steakhouses, and it’s eaten up quite a lot of time. Oh ya, and there’s also been some house buying, a new car, wife caring for, and the occasional crime fighting late at night. It’s been a heck of a couple months.


But you don’t come here to read my bitching and moaning, you come here for a cheap laugh when there’s a re-run of Always Sunny on. You might also come here for a bit of info on my latest projects and what not, but probably more old television than anything else.

Speaking of 40K projects, what have I done?!? I went to my work stash (the pile of unopened boxes of models that tabletop gamers collect with the notion that they’ll eventually paint them…one day) to grab a box. Something wasn’t right though. Is it the dust? No, that’s not it. Was it the bug-eyed blow-up doll? No, he’s always been in that position. Then it hit me…it’s empty!


That’s right, I have hit the end of my To Paint pile. All that remains is one box of Grey Knight terminators to add to my ally force, and I’ll be out of models. Then there will be nothing. It will look like the metal heads section of a One Direction concert, or an average-sized bodice at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Barren. Non-existent. Vacant.

At first, I went through a sort of depression. I considered medication, but suppositories never sat well with me. I briefly considered calling the hobby a day and moving on, but then I threw up and realized that was crazy talk.


So I decided to break out my bits box and make models myself. My inquisitor warband needed some gun servitors, why not make ’em from spare parts? That’s what any self-respecting Jokaero would do, right? So that’s what I did. Below is the result of that idea.

Inq. Gun Servitor 1

Ok, well that’s over. Now what? Then it hit me. I can buy new models! It was finally time to not be confined by a pre-determined list, but to expand my gaming horizons and venture into new territories. To buy models I wanted to paint, not boxes that my army needed. To try new games, and paint their miniature dudes. Essentially, I was in for a Milo and Otis kind of adventure, where self discovery and furry shenanigans were sure to take place.

Oh, and I decided to pick Magic: the Gathering back up.


Ah, M:tG, the game that taught me the value of outplaying my opponent and turned me into an obsessive collector of things. Yes, it was also time to blow the dust off my high school life and try my hand at that as well.

Back to mini-dudes, I’ve been debating on where to expand my horizons. I know I’m going to slowly add an accompanying Tzeentch force to my Alpha Legion (who better to chill out with saboteurs and secret gatherers, amirite?), but what else? I need to flesh out my inquisitor warband, which is turning into a super conversion project on its own. That won’t take too long, though. I have purchased the rulebook to Flames of War, along with a few tanks to build an armored regiment, but those paint jobs are basic at best. What’s a gal to do?


I know a few people who play Warhammer Fantasy, and I’ve flirted with the idea of starting an army myself. I actually have a few of the models sitting in my closet, but every time I start to really put thought into it, well, I don’t know, I seem to turn myself off the idea. It’s odd, because in almost every other aspect, fantasy > sci-fi, in my naughtily illustrated book. There’s just something about WHFB that doesn’t “do” it for me. We’ll see, we’ll see. Maybe I’ll convince myself of it one of these days.

Don’t bother asking about Warmachines/Hordes. That stuff looks about as interesting to me as staring at selections of bread mold to see if one resembles Winston Churchill. About the same goes to Heroclix, except I’ve played that one (not a bad game, mind you, just not for me).

And as far as starting new 40K armies, that just ain’t happenin’, Jack. I sold my Tau ally, as I didn’t play it enough to justify its shelf space, and in all honesty, no other armies really “do it for me”. When I think about Chaos Space Marines and Space Marines (which includes Inquisitors and such), I get all this.


But others? Nothing. Not even a little. #firstworldproblems. I could get into drugs. I hear good things about them. But nah, too much money that’ll take away from other gaming love.

I guess this Milo and Otis story still has a ways to go before it finds its way back to the farm. I will leave you with this gem from the past. Later days!

To Do: Shake Off the Cobwebs


About Onshava

I'm a writer who grew up a total geek. I attended the University of Florida (Go Gators!), graduated, and set out to make my place in the world in the great city of Chicago. I'm married (still not sure how I suckered her into it), have two dogs, and think subway trains are the devil's magic. Also, I'm a horribly addicted hobbyist. Warhammer 40k, MMOs, Xbox gaming, writing, reading, playing guitar, painting, modeling (not the sexy GQ kind) name it, I probably do it. I also like to talk, a lot. So, to quote Deckard Cain, "Hello, my friends! Stay awhile, and listen." View all posts by Onshava

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